Friday, April 3, 2009

Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No. The possibilities are endless

In this age of Facebook and internet dating, where the opportunities for meeting people seem endless, how do we select potential dates and partners?

As a formerly avid internet dater, I found myself overwhelmed by the number of profiles I viewed and emails I received. How did I choose from among many men? Once I began email exchanges, how did I decide whom to meet face-to-face?

Perhaps even more interesting is the question of when to take a leap towards intimacy: when does one have a first kiss or spend the night with someone new? How do we navigate sexual decision-making in an age when the boyfriend-girlfriend paradigm is passé, and access to potential sexual partners has hypertrophied?

The rapidity of communication via internet dating sites seems to encourage and coincide with premature coupling. After sharing a handful of coy emails and a couple of coffee dates, I found myself compelled to feel as if I knew someone enough to go home with him. Of course, this timeline is completely out of sync with the attention and care it takes to develop a real sense of another person.

It was all too easy to become swept up in the pace and culture of the medium of internet dating. I believe I was seduced by the promise of intimacy and partnership via the internet rather than by any of the men I met. This sense of promise prompted my premature forays into intimacy, and my ultimate sense of disappointment when the men, who were, of course, strangers, did not meet my expectations.

The piece above, "Chastity bracelet," says "go home alone. wait another date." (See my Etsy shop for more information:

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