What if you find him and he slips through your fingers? This fear used to guide my dating behavior. For a while, I went on countless dates, fearing I would say "no" and let someone "good" (whatever that means) slip through my fingers unwittingly. Now, "no" is my standard. After years of unsatisfying dates and relationships lasting several months at most, I am waiting for a feeling of synthesis, no, excitement and connection sooner rather than later.
I recently found myself sitting next to someone I'd met before but with whom I had never felt any special connection. He literally transformed before my eyes from "just some guy" at the bar to someone with a vast and interesting inner world, and an ability to articulate at least some of it compellingly. I need more of those moments.