Ambiguity: when you are sick of "maybe"

In my last post, I included an image of "Always I return to you." There are two streams of thought in this piece. The first, "hold onto me or let me go; darling hold onto me," is embedded in my hair. The second appears alongside my sneakers: "Loving you is like running uphill..."

In the first bit of text, I am asking for some certainty. In the second, I am claiming that I love even though it is difficult and uncertain.

This piece is about ambiguity. At what point does ambiguity overpower your enjoyment of another person? Do you ever get fed up and decide you need to "know where you stand" or you will move on? How long will you wait for someone to make up his/her mind?

Ambiguity is a necessary part of forming bonds. There are subtle shifts in all relationships, whether they are friendships, or relationships with coworkers or family members. Even in the most committed romantic relationships, there may be times when one person gives more than another. For any relationship to last, there needs to be a balance in the work and the care. In these times of extreme economic uncertainty and job insecurity, is ambiguity in our personal relationships too much to bear? Is a lack of clarity with a lover a reflection of a stormy economy?

Always I return to you.

Piece at left:
"Always I return to you." 2009. 4.75" wide X 8.5" high. Embroidery on fabric.

"Loving you is like running uphill—there is construction on the side of the road, the streets are out of order, yet I move forward. Always I return to you."

In my hair, I say "hold onto me or let me go. Darling, hold onto me."

Please see the previous post, April 15, "Generation 'Maybe, I don't know.' Hold Onto Me Tightly, or Let Me Go (piece in progress).

In finishing this piece, I realize it is a love poem for running, and also for someone I'm close to right now.

Generation "Maybe, I don't know." Hold Onto Me Tightly, Or Let Me Go (piece in progress)

I have noticed that some dating-advice columnists are describing themselves as "single-ish" or "kind of single." Do a lack of commitment and a lack of clearly established boundaries define today's romantic relationships?

I feel as if I am part of generation "maybe, kinda, I don't know."

The above piece, still in progress, expresses how I feel trying to get close to someone who can be alternately available, warm, and receptive, and uncommunicative, unavailable distant. My quest sometimes feels like running up a never-ending hill.


As this piece says, "Darling, hold onto me. Hold onto me tightly, or let me go."

Hold onto me or let me go. 2009. Embroidery on Fabric. Still in progress. Final image to come.

Boyfriend/Lover/Beloved

As many single people will contest, the once-clear category of boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other seems passé. Or maybe these roles were never so clearly defined as I believed growing up. While "marriage" seems to be a pretty concrete concept with some widely agreed upon tenets, what does one call the friend one occasionally sleeps with, the ex-boyfriend or girlfriend with whom one occasionally gets together, or a collection of one-night stands?

I am curious as to why the term "lover" is so seldom used in this country. It sounds affected and strange whenever I hear it. Maybe "lover" needs to make a comeback. If we referred to that guy or girl we picked up at the bar or met online as a lover, would we would inject our behavior with a little more thought and lovingness, in the absence of a more maturely developed love?

Image above: So Besotted -- embroidered adjectives for "beloved." Completed 2008, with some linguistic help from a friend (see scrawled journal entry at right).