If Only

He would make a great husband, if only he would stop drinking! She would be a great girlfriend, if only she could kick her depression! I want to spend the rest of my life with him...if only he would stop messing around behind my back!

What do you do when you've fallen for an "if only"? Do you stick around and hope for transformation, or do you tell yourself someone "better" is on the way?

image at top:

Everything He Ever Wanted. Embroidery on fabric. 2008.

"I am everything he ever wanted, as well as some things he could not have imagined. We're about to have our third kid, and he still hasn't removed his internet dating profile!"

 

Contact Muriel Guepin at Shop Art Gallery for more information: contact@shopartstudio.com. 

See also the Affordable Art Fair in NYC, May 7-10. 

Boyfriend/Lover/Beloved

As many single people will contest, the once-clear category of boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other seems passé. Or maybe these roles were never so clearly defined as I believed growing up. While "marriage" seems to be a pretty concrete concept with some widely agreed upon tenets, what does one call the friend one occasionally sleeps with, the ex-boyfriend or girlfriend with whom one occasionally gets together, or a collection of one-night stands?

I am curious as to why the term "lover" is so seldom used in this country. It sounds affected and strange whenever I hear it. Maybe "lover" needs to make a comeback. If we referred to that guy or girl we picked up at the bar or met online as a lover, would we would inject our behavior with a little more thought and lovingness, in the absence of a more maturely developed love?

Image above: So Besotted -- embroidered adjectives for "beloved." Completed 2008, with some linguistic help from a friend (see scrawled journal entry at right).